Here I go

So, I’ve decided to start this blog, partly as a way of helping myself, as a way of getting whats inside of me, out in the open.  But also, as my mum has recently been pointing out to me, I always feel better when I’m able to help others.

It was in fact, my mum who suggested I start this, though I had considered it before.  You see, I’ve struggled with mental disorders for more than 12 years now, and so far they show no signs of going away.

If anything, recently, things have been worse.

I’ve had depression from a very young age and over the years I’ve been diagnosed with dysthymia, OCD, anxiety, PTSD, insomnia, paranoia, BPD, M.E/Chronic fatigue and most recently, fibromyalgia.

Now, a diagnosis of any of those can be life changing and quite scary.  A lot of people fear being given a ‘label’ or that people will think they’re nuts and to be honest, that was one of the reasons I’ve kept quiet for so long.

So far my life has been a giant mess of hospital visit after doctors appointment after new prescription after side effect and so on.  So, I decided to take my mums advice and use my so far awful life as way to help others, so they don’t have to feel the way I did, so they don’t have to be ashamed.

I know its all well and easy for people nowadays to say “we need to be more open about mental health, its nothing to be ashamed of”, but it doesn’t stop the fear of people knowing, and it certainly doesn’t stop some people continuing to bully those with mental health conditions.

I dont think this blog will change the world, or the way people see each other, I just hope that someone, somewhere will find reading my experiences helpful and can learn to value themselves in a way I have always found difficult.

I don’t claim to know anything medical, I’m not a doctor or a psychiatrist or anythjng of significance, just a woman with a story and a heck of a lot of it to tell.


Here I go.